Challenges Teens Face | Teen Counseling

Adolescence can be the most awkward and difficult time in one’s life. First, there’s puberty which brings changes in hormones, body image, and mood. This can cause confusion and even distress in teens, especially if they do not know how to communicate their experiences effectively. Along with this change comes an interest in romantic relationships and different social circles, which we all know can lead to immense heartbreak if things do not go as planned. Some teens also find new interests that may lead to unhealthy choices. Regardless of how it looks, there are many challenges teens face just because they’re teens. Keep reading for tips on how to support your teen through these major transitions to set them up for success as young adults.

Supporting Your Teen Through Puberty:

The start of puberty varies between males and females, though is typically expected to begin around age 10-11 for females and 11-13 for males. Along with all the physical changes to their bodies, you may also observe a change in mood–most notably irritability, sadness, and anger outbursts. As hormones start changing through their bodies, the brain also becomes more active. This intensifies emotional responses and other executive functioning processes including reasoning, critical thinking, and decision-making abilities. You may also notice an increased need for independence, privacy, and identity development.

It is important to keep in mind that even though you have experienced puberty yourself, each person’s experience is unique. When you hear things like “You just don’t get it!”, try to refrain from responses like “Yes I do, I was your age once!” Remember, with all of the chemical changes happening in their bodies, they may not be able to control the anger and irritability you are receiving! Try a validating statement like, “I can see that you are struggling,” or asking a question like, “Can you help me understand what you are going through or what you need?”

Another important to ensure your teen is supported through puberty is to have open, transparent conversations.

Let’s be honest, the standardized education children and teens receive about puberty, sex, and other health-related issues is not as informative as it could be. In addition to this, some children and teens take to their own research to understand what is happening with their bodies which can lead to the spreading of misinformation. To combat this, we encourage all parents to provide their teens with basic, factual information related to puberty and what they can expect. This fosters an environment of openness and safety letting your teen know that you are there to help them if and when they need it.

Supporting Your Teen Through Social Hardships:

Another really common experience many teens have is in relation to their social life. Breakups with both friends and romantic partners may cause a powerful emotional reaction in your teen. Some signs to look out for include:

Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Sudden change in social circle
Avoidance of friends and family
Change in school performance
More instances of crying or anger

If you notice some of these signs, ask your teen how they’ve been doing socially. If your teen is comfortable with talking about it, make sure you listen without interrupting or asking too many questions at first. It’s really important not to minimize their loss. Examples of minimizing may look like, “It’s just puppy love, you’ll get over it,” or “When you’re older, you’ll see what real friends are.” These comments often cause teens to shut down and refrain from expressing their feelings in the future. Instead, we encourage you to simply validate that this is a tough experience for them. It also wouldn’t hurt to offer them a hug or some advice, if they want it!

If your teen doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you, that’s okay!

It’s developmentally appropriate for teens to feel more comfortable sharing intimate details with their peers. If this is the case, do not take this personally. Really focus on modeling healthy coping skills such as journaling, maintaining healthy eating and sleeping routines, or other self-care activities. Do not project your own anxiety or anger onto them, simply continue being a safe presence should they decide to open up to you. Contact Pacific Coast Therapy if you or your teen need more support!